by Diane Masson | Oct 26, 2014
92 Years Young!
Her Birthday Balloon and Sign
My mom is going to be 92 years young on Tuesday and she has had vascular dementia for around 11 years. She can’t remember what she had for breakfast, but she still knows my name. Last week when my husband and I went to see her at the Freedom Village Health Care Center she said, “What a surprise, I am happy to see you!” I was so astonished with her welcome. Usually it can take several minutes for her brain to adjust that we are there. We celebrated her birthday month that evening with a snack, gift and watching a movie together. She was 70% cognitively with us and shared some childhood memories.
This week, I was not so lucky. I arrived in the morning with a balloon and a gift from my brother. When I saw her, she was in an anxious mood. I braced myself for an unknown emotional roller coaster. The balloon scared her at first, which shocked me. Then she wanted to read it and soon she was laughing. She told me that it was not a good day, that she could not remember anything and it was all so confusing. I told her that I understood and that it would be okay. She calmed down and then asked what was in the package. I told her it was her birthday gift from my brother Paul. “Is it my birthday?” she asked. I laughed and showed her the sign that I had attached to the balloon. It said, Margie’s birthday is October 28th, she will be 92 years young.
I set the balloon next to her and everyone who walked by wished her a happy birthday. It was awesome. My first thought was that every care ambassador and nurse would read the sign and wish her a happy birthday 24-7 for a few days. My second thought was that my mom could read the sign and know that it was her birthday week. I helped her open the gift of a new sweater. She loved the texture, because it was so soft. The card enamored her most and she kept looking at it and opening and closing it. With all the pictures on it, I realized that it was so busy that she could not focus on what my brother and sister-in-law had written inside. So I read it to her several times. She loved it.
When I saw her on my next visit, she was agitated with red spots on her checks. She was relieved to see my familiar face. After several minutes of my speaking soothing comments, she came back to me mentally. Then she asked if I had any food. I always bring food, because food can have a calming effect on her. I produced a banana from my purse and her eyes lit up. “For me?” she said. I laughed and said, “Yes!” I opened it and she said that she wanted to hold it. Sometimes she wants me to hold it and she breaks off part of the banana. I have learned to go with flow and to accept the not good days or moments that adjoin laughter and happier days.
Happy birthday month Mother!
Diane’s number one tip for those who have a loved one with dementia is to expect the unexpected. You may want to celebrate their birthday on the actual day, but that may not be a good day for your loved one with dementia. Be flexible and have a willingness to celebrate their special day on another day or just have a birthday month celebration for them and you are sure to hit one good day. Stay calm and be soothing to your loved one. Don’t ask someone with dementia a lot of questions, they can’t process them. Just let them talk to you about what is on their mind. They might want to talk about their childhood or the depression. Adapt to them and go with the flow.
Diane Masson’s new guide book for seniors, “Selecting Senior Housing for Seniors in the Silver Tsunami,” will be will be coming soon to Amazon.com. If you sign up for my weekly newsletter on the right side of this blog, you will be notified when my new book becomes available. Check out my new website: Tips2Seniors.com or please follow me on Facebook.
by Diane Masson | Aug 4, 2013
As a daughter with a mom in skilled nursing care, the PBS documentary entitled “Life and Death in Assisted Living” really upset me. My mom has vascular dementia and I have been her advocate for the last 7 years in assisted living. Those of you who follow my blog know that I moved my mom 1000 miles into a skilled nursing care near me – about 10 weeks ago. This transition happened because I was 100% in tune with my mom’s needs.
We all know someone who had a horror story during a hospital stay. Last week one of my colleagues was shocked to walk in and find her dad in soft restraints after heart surgery. He was 82 and not coming out of the anesthesia well. The nurse said that she did not have enough staff to help him, so she had to use soft arm restraints. My colleague asked if they could please remove the restraints. She and her mom each took one arm of her dad and literally held him thrashing around all night with no sleep.
Every senior or human being needs an advocate to make sure that the care they are paying thousands of dollar per month in any level of care is being provided. Trying to be a good advocate for my mom and living two states away – just about killed me. You have to have eyes on your loved one or pay someone to come in and be your eyes – particularly when they have dementia.
When a senior has dementia, like my mom, they get to the point where they cannot communicate all their needs, pains or desires to either caregivers or family members. There needs to be an advocate who truly knows that person and can look for and understand his or her unspoken needs on a regular basis.
If my colleague had not shown up to be an advocate for her dad, he would have been in soft restraints all night. If I had not flown in every few months to see my mom with my own eyes, areas of concern would not have been addressed. My mom had good care in assisted living with a caring staff, but she is my mom and I know her best.
It always makes me sad when a future senior resident considering senior housing has no family or only distant relatives. They may ask a lawyer or a niece in Canada to become their advocate or power of attorney. Will this remote person advocate properly on his or her behalf – if the senior can no longer communicate verbally?
There are great senior housing options available with loving caring staff, but it is always wise to have an advocate that knows your unspoken needs when you can no longer speak on your own behalf.
Tip: Future residents and their family members need to do their homework as they explore all senior housing options including assisted living. Always ask what the longevity of staff is at each retirement community, assisted living, memory care or skilled care nursing that you are considering for yourself or a loved one. Staff turnover is an indicator of an underlying management or ownership problem in all levels of senior care. Look for communities with longevity of staff.
Diane Twohy Masson is the best-selling author of “Senior Housing Marketing – How to Increase Your Occupancy and Stay Full,” available at Amazon.com with a 5-star rating. The book is required reading at George Mason University as a part of its marketing curriculum. Within this book, the author developed a sales & marketing method with 12 keys to help senior living providers increase their occupancy. Masson developed this expertise as a marketing consultant, sought-after blogger for senior housing and a regional marketing director of continuing care retirement communities in several markets. She has also been a corporate director of sales and a mystery shopper for independent living, assisted living, memory care and skilled care nursing communities in multiple states. Most recently Masson was recruited to consult for two debt-free Continuing Care Retirement Communities in Southern California – Freedom Village in Lake Forest and The Village in Hemet, California. Interestingly, this career started when she was looking for a place for her own mom and helped her loved one transition through three levels of care.
by Diane Masson | Jul 28, 2013
What is your favorite word in the English language? It is probably your own name. When a senior gets to the point of living in assisted living or skilled nursing care – his or her memory is most likely failing. So the most magical word they can hear is their own name.
Recently I was blown away at the Freedom Village Healthcare Center in California. My mom has lived there for about 2 months. When I walked down the hall with my mom, every single staff person spoke to her with a smile. They either said her first name or her last name “Mrs. Twohy.” Then they would share some encouraging statement. It was not just one or two staff. We literally ran into about 14 staff on our walk and each made my mom feel special. She smiled back at each one and it was wonderful to see her joy.
After having lunch with my mom and family in the outdoor fountain courtyard, my brother was taking my mom back inside and a staff person pointed at my brother’s hat and said, “Your name is on your hat.” My brother was so surprised. It took him a moment to realize that that this person knew his last name – Twohy, because our mom lives there in skilled nursing care.
So the staff not only makes my mom feel special everyday, but reach out to family members as well. Noticing “Twohy” on my brother’s hat goes above and beyond and created a real “wow” for my family. It showed me that every employee is committed to calling the residents by name and I was impressed! Do staff in your skilled nursing care, assisted living, memory care and even independent living know every single resident’s first and last names? Why not have a contest, so they can get rewarded for learning names today.
Please share your success, failures or comment to join the conversation and interact with other senior living professionals on what is currently being effective to increase occupancy on a nationwide basis.
Diane Twohy Masson is the author of “Senior Housing Marketing – How to Increase Your Occupancy and Stay Full,” available for sale at Amazon.com. Masson’s book is required reading at George Mason University as part of the marketing curriculum. She is currently consulting with two debt-free Continuing Care Retirement Communities in Southern California – Freedom Village in Lake Forest and The Village in Hemet, California. Connection and partnership opportunities: Email: diane@marketing2seniors.net
by Diane Masson | Jun 9, 2013
My husband Chris and I received this unappetizing text, with a photo of food, from our friend Dave in rehab. This was the text:
Chris: How are you, what are you doing?
Dave: Nothing, this is my meal…
Chris: That looks horrible.
Dave: Yeah tell me about it. This tastes as good as it looks – which is terrible.
Diane: Which rehab are you at?
Dave: XXXX in Federal Way, WA.
Diane: The food looks disgusting, I am so sorry, how have the other meals been?
Dave: Just as bad…
Would I ever recommend this place to anyone based on this photo – no way! Get ready for the boomers texting their meals to their other boomer friends.
Institutional food is a thing of the past. Most retirement communities offer chef prepared meals now. The boomers have a discriminating palette and won’t tolerate bad food.
Are you proud of the food you are serving at your Rehab, Skilled Nursing Center, Healthcare Center, Long-term Care Facility, Assisted Living, Independent Living, Memory Care or Continuing Care Retirement Community? Would you eat it?
Please comment to join the conversation and interact with other senior living professionals on what is currently being effective to increase occupancy on a nationwide basis.
Diane Twohy Masson is the author of “Senior Housing Marketing – How to Increase Your Occupancy and Stay Full,” available for sale at Amazon.com. Masson’s book will be required reading at George Mason University in the Fall as part of the marketing curriculum. She is currently consulting with Seniors For Living and two debt-free Continuing Care Retirement Communities in Southern California – Freedom Village in Lake Forest and The Village in Hemet, California. Connection and partnership opportunities: Email: diane@marketing2seniors.net
![I’m Not Ready Yet!!!!]()
by Diane Masson | Sep 3, 2012
When you hear a senior prospect or family member say these words – what runs through your mind first? How do you respond? Do you believe them? At every encounter with a prospective resident, someone always buys the popcorn – either the sales person or the senior!
Recently, I was going through some retirement community’s databases and lead after lead after lead had a “NRY” as the number one response in the notes. I had to ask, “What is “NRY”?” The retirement counselors in unison said, “Not ready yet.” I thought quietly to myself, “Why the heck would anyone put such a negative assertion in his or her database?” The next time they look at the lead, they are going to immediately think that it’s a crappy lead.
I believe that every lead is great! If someone hangs up on me, the prospective resident is just having a bad day. I have actually called these back again and they have been receptive, come in for a tour and eventually moved in.
When someone says they are not ready yet, do you blow the person off like I see some sales people do? Are you just looking for a quick sale on a silver platter or a 30-day move-in? Well then you are missing a ton of sales and this is why the occupancy is down at your retirement community. Real sales people know that persistence pays off. I have called people every month for one year and then they turned into a sale! Those can be the most gratifying sales!
Do you have a Negative Nellie working your precious (expensive) senior housing leads that could be potential move-ins? Believing Betty understands that each lead could be worth thousands of dollars and calls with enthusiasm and passion. The customer needs to hear us smiling through the phone and feel our energy and excitement when they arrive in person. We need to believe in our leads and keep calling them back…
When someone says they are not ready yet, they are one fall or one diagnosis away from suddenly wanting to move immediately. Don’t schedule the next call for one year away, because it’s not the golden goose quick sale. Understand the frailty of the senior customer and schedule to call them on a quarterly basis or your competition will get this move-in instead of you!
So when a senior tells me that they are not ready yet…this is great…they are interested for the future. The first thought that runs through my mind is: I need to educate them more about the lifestyle! The second thought I have is: What did I miss saying? Did I build enough value for health services? After I learned about them through discovery, did I tailor the tour to their needs? I need to fill the retirement community today, one year from now and 5 years from now! So if someone wants to wait a year or two, no problem… my positive contact with them can speed up their decision. Then when they suddenly want to move in, whom will they think of first? Well, the nice lady on the phone who was never pushy and always had their best interests at heart…of course!
Diane Twohy Masson is the author of “Senior Housing Marketing – How to Increase Your Occupancy and Stay Full,” available for sale at Amazon.com. If your curiosity is piqued to inquire on Diane’s availability to speak at a senior housing conference (CCRC, independent living, assisted living, skilled nursing or memory care) – please call: 206-853-6655 or email diane@marketing2seniors.net. Diane is currently consulting in Southern California for Freedom Management Company, the proud debt-free owners of Freedom Village in Lake Forest and The Village in Hemet, California. For more information: Twitter: @market2seniors Web: www.marketing2seniors.net Blog: http://marketing2seniors.net/blog/
