A senior can easily become overly dependent on a caregiver. A helpless 92-year-old senior woman, who is recovering from a surgery, can suddenly become isolated in her own home and becomes reliant on her new around-the-clock caregiver.
In memory care communities, seniors with dementia rely on the loving support from their caregivers or fellow residents. Joyful smiles, from a dementia resident, may only be reserved for those who see them daily. Sometimes a wife learns that her husband in memory care has decided to marry his “friend.” The “friend” might be a caregiver 50 years younger or another resident.
“Dear Abby,” recently published a letter from a man in his late 60’s. He wanted to marry a 28-year-old woman with three children. His question for “Dear Abby” was should he do it? She suggested a prenuptial agreement.
A frail senior man moved into a residential board and care home to recover from a hospitalization. His wife was optimistic about his ability to recover and return home. Her other wish was to have him improve enough to move into a Continuing Care Retirement Community with her. Unfortunately, the caregiver at the board and care home did everything for the husband. The wife begged for them to help her husband recuperate, by letting him dress himself, strengthen his legs by standing up, improve his endurance by walking around the home and etc. Instead the caregivers continued to make him 100% dependent on them, so he grew weaker and wheelchair bound. Now this couple (married for 60 years) will not be able to live together again.
Unlicensed home care workers (fly-by-night) can take over the finances of seniors while they sleep. This happened to one of my neighbors. She became a prisoner of her own home. The OC Register newspaper recently published an article about a senior who signed over her home to the caregiver who had lived with her for less than 90 days. She died with no children. The caregiver is still living in her home.
As humans we crave love and companionship. We need relationships in our lives. An isolated frail senior can easily become beholden to the one person who is sustaining their existence.
What have you seen or experienced?
Do you know a senior that is struggling? Diane Masson’s new book can help walk you or them through, “Your Senior Housing Options.” Diane has helped educate thousands of seniors in her career and shares weekly real life stories like this one. Join her blog at Tips2Seniors.com or follow her on Facebook at Tips2Seniors.
I asked the same question to four memory care communities that were licensed as assisted living. The responses might surprise you and help you determine where to place your own mom or dad.
What happens if my mother-in-law wakes up disoriented at 2:00 AM and gets up to find the bathroom? Then she falls…
Memory Care Community A – “When we find her, a med tech would evaluate her. If she hit her head or something major happened, then 911 is called. My husband asked about the med tech training. Is it like an emergency medical technician (EMT) with a minimum of 140 hours of medical training? She said, “No, it is like a CNA (Certified Nursing Assistant). There are specific criteria that they are trained on.”
Does someone go with the dementia resident if they go out 911? No!
Diane’s opinion: In my experience, no CNA has the medical expertise to make a judgment call on a fall. My mother’s assisted living community always sent my mom out 911 from a fall in the middle of the night. It happened five times. It was highly traumatic for her. When someone arrives at the emergency room with dementia, it is scary and confusing. It would disorient her for days after each traumatic adventure.
Memory Care Community B – “We have certain guidelines to know when to call 911. In the past month we have had two seniors go out 911. Eighty percent of the time falls do not require 911. We would call the family to meet the senior at the hospital.”
Does someone go with the dementia resident if they go out 911? No!
Diane’s opinion: Some assisted living communities ship senior residents out by 911 because they don’t want liability of a mistake. The pattern I am noticing is that if a community is licensed as an assisted living (board and care) and they do not have a 24-hour nurse, they get shipped out by 911 after a fall during the night.
Memory Care Community C – “If she got up at 2:00 AM, the motion sensors go off and a care manager goes into her room immediately. There are two care managers and a nurse. She will be assessed. If she is okay they will try to help her complete what she was trying to do initially, like going to the bathroom. If the fall is major, then the care manager will go to the hospital with them. If it is not major, she will be continually monitored every 15 minutes.”
Does someone go with the dementia resident if they go out 911? Yes!
Diane’s Opinion: This was the most impressive answer I received to my question. This community had a nurse on staff 24-7 and was priced at the high end of memory care communities. Bad news: My mother-in-law lived at this memory care community and fell. The answer they gave above does not match the reality of what happened. My mother-in-law was found on the floor beside her bed for an undetermined amount of time. Fortunately, she did not have to go out 911.
Memory Care Community D – “A motion sensor goes off, we assess her, and the nurse can be called. We are hesitant to send them out 911 unless absolutely necessary. We do send them out if they have had a head injury. Some places just call 911 but it is too hard on the families. A staff member will go with them to the emergency room.”
Does someone go with the dementia resident if they go out 911? Yes!
Diane’s Opinion: This memory care community had a nurse 14 hours a day. The longer they have a nurse on staff in a 24-hour period of time the more likely they have enough staffing to accompany a resident to the emergency room. Good news: My mother-in-law lived at this memory care community too. She fell and they did accompany her out 911 on several occasions. Thank you!
What Happens When a Senior Falls at 2:00 AM in Assisted Living?
This is a vital question that you need to ask in order to evaluate and choose an assisted living or memory care community for your loved one. Be proactive. Be an advocate. When someone has dementia it is very difficult for them if you pull them out of their normal routine, it can mess them up for days or weeks depending upon the severity of his or her dementia. Assisted living and memory care communities should not send out a dementia resident without accompaniment. My poor mother was always terrified and disoriented at the emergency room.
What has been your experience?
Your Senior Housing Options,”has a simplistic title, but what’s inside this new book can save a you months of research time. Hear Diane Masson’s interviewof how her mother and in-law’s faced the pivotal decision to plan ahead or wait until a crisis. Learn the pitfalls from transitioning from your home to senior housing. Understand what questions to ask, insider tips and dirty secrets revealed. The decision to stay home requires caregivers. Prevent elder abuse by determining if a home care agency is reputable, before they move into your home. You are just not looking for today’s needs, but for your future care. Discover key differences between rental facilities vs Continuing Care Retirement Communities. Do you have enough financial resources if you need to be in a higher level of care for an extended period of time? For weekly tips join at: Www.Tips2Seniors.com
Diane Masson has worked in senior housing for 17 years and is the regional marketing director for two debt-free Continuing Care Retirement Communities in Southern CA (Freedom Village in Lake Forest and The Village in Hemet). Her first book “Senior Housing Marketing – How to Increase Your Occupancy and Stay Full,” is being utilized by senior housing professionals across the country. Both her first book and second book, “Your Senior Housing Options,” have a 5-star rating on Amazon.com.
Let’s hear from professionals around the world to see if this assumption is correct! Do seniors need fewer days of hospice in assisted living and skilled nursing than at home? It makes sense to me.
An article by the Philly Voice stated, “At hospice enrollment, between 2008 and 2012, 78,130 of the patients in the study lived at home and 7,451 were in assisted living.”
My own mom with vascular dementia, living in skilled nursing care, only needed 4 days of hospice care. While my mom was actively dying with hospice care, I read about all the signs people show approaching death.
In a great little book called, “Gone from my Sight, The Dying Experience,” by Barbara Karnes, RN, I learned how seniors start to withdraw one to three months prior to death. The desire for food decreases while sleep dramatically increases. A senior can become more disoriented, agitated and talk with the unseen one or two weeks before death.
As I held my mom’s nonresponsive hand a few days before her death, I realized that most of what the book predicted had happened to my mom in the previous few months. Yet she was completely supported in her skilled nursing environment. What a gift that community gave her.
When she could not feed herself (she forgot how because of her dementia), the caregivers or I would feed her. At every meal she was given an opportunity to feed herself. The staff never gave up on her improving. If my mom had been home, I would have fretted and taken her to the doctor to learn why she was eating less.
My mom never had to be disrupted from her familiar environment and go the hospital like many hospice patients. All types of care could happen right at her skilled nursing community. My mom needed full care (bathing, dressing, medication management, two-person transfers, toileting and feeding).
I can see in my mind’s eye that many higher-level assisted livings could accomplish what my mom’s skilled nursing environment did for her. Calm caring 24/7 staff that understands declining seniors can bring a sense of peace to the patient and his or her family members.
I want to personally thank all the assisted living and skilled nursing care workers that help seniors transition to death. Bless you! Shout out to all the nurses and caregivers at Freedom Village Skilled Nursing for what you did for my mom. Your compassionate staff rocks!
Your Senior Housing Options,” has a simplistic title, but what’s inside this new book can save a you months of research time. Hear Diane Masson’s interview of how her mother and in-law’s faced the pivotal decision to plan ahead or wait until a crisis. Learn the pitfalls from transitioning from your home to senior housing. Understand what questions to ask, insider tips and dirty secrets revealed. The decision to stay home requires caregivers. Prevent elder abuse by determining if a home care agency is reputable, before they move into your home. You are just not looking for today’s needs, but for your future care. Discover key differences between rental facilities vs Continuing Care Retirement Communities. Do you have enough financial resources if you need to be in a higher level of care for an extended period of time? For weekly tips join at: Www.Tips2Seniors.com
Diane Masson has worked in senior housing for 17 years and is the regional marketing director for two debt-free Continuing Care Retirement Communities in Southern CA (Freedom Village in Lake Forest and The Village in Hemet). Her first book “Senior Housing Marketing – How to Increase Your Occupancy and Stay Full,” is being utilized by senior housing professionals across the country. Both her first book and second book, “Your Senior Housing Options,” have a 5-star rating on Amazon.com.
Most seniors want to stay in their own home. Learn five keys in this TV interview to differentiate a reputable home care company from a fly-by-night company. Paying a caregiver under the table may end up being your most expensive option. Can you afford 24-hour home care? If not, learn the costs of your other options before you deplete your resources. Learn more insider tips in a new resource book, “Your Senior Housing Options” or get weekly advice for free at WWW.tips2seniors.com.
“Your Senior Housing Options,” has a simplistic title, but what’s inside this new book can save you months of research time. Hear Diane Masson’s interview of how her mother and in-law’s faced the pivotal decision to plan ahead or wait until a crisis. Learn the pitfalls from transitioning from your home to senior housing. Understand what questions to ask, insider tips and dirty secrets revealed. The decision to stay home requires caregivers. Prevent elder abuse by determining if a home care agency is reputable, before they move into your home. You are just not looking for today’s needs, but for your future care. Discover key differences between rental facilities vs Continuing Care Retirement Communities. Do you have enough financial resources if you need to be in a higher level of care for an extended period of time? For weekly tips join at: Www.Tips2Seniors.com
Diane Masson has worked in senior housing for 17 years and is the regional marketing director for two debt-free Continuing Care Retirement Communities in Southern CA (Freedom Village in Lake Forest and The Village in Hemet). Her first book “Senior Housing Marketing – How to Increase Your Occupancy and Stay Full,” is being utilized by senior housing professionals across the country. Both her first book and second book, “Your Senior Housing Options,” have a 5-star rating on Amazon.com.
We’ve all been at a party when a new acquaintance asks, “What do you do?” What is your response? Is it engaging and interesting? Or does your heart drop, because you have to talk about work and you end up sharing a boring list of your duties or mumble your exact job title?
Every one of us can improve our 30-second commercial and make it captivating to the listener.
Here are a couple of tips of what not to do:
No laundry list of duties
Don’t just give your job title and company name
At Seattle’s Pike Place Market, a company that sold fish seven days a week decided to make it interesting. They were determined to have fun and engage the customers. So the motivated employees started throwing the fish that customers were purchasing. Now they are a huge tourist attraction and sell lots of fish.
If you work for a senior living company and simply state you work at an assisted living or skilled nursing community, it sounds boring. Saying, “We improve the quality of seniors lives everyday,” – makes your acquaintance ask a secondary questions of – how? Everyone typically knows an aging parent, grandparent or senior neighbor. In the remote possibility that you do not, you probably know a friend who is dealing with an aging senior who needs help. Ninety-nine percent of the time, people need advice for an aging relative and you can end up helping them or suggest they consider your senior living community (which is wonderful for them, your company and you).
Maybe you already use your 30-second commercial on a daily basis? Or you use it occasionally when you attend chamber of commerce or networking events. Each of us can improve our commercial and make it more appealing to the listener. Your fellow networkers and social acquaintances will appreciate you making an effort.
So what is your 30-second commercial? Is it interesting enough that someone asks you a follow up question?
If you share your 30-second commercial in the comment section on my blog page, you will automatically be entered to win a copy of my new book, “Your Senior Housing Options.” The best commercial will win and be announced in the comment section of my blog on Saturday, June 13th.
Everyone of us knows at least one senior that needs to move now. Here is a resource to help you or them make an informed decision. Diane Twohy Masson’s new guide book for seniors, “Your Senior Housing Options,” is available on Amazon.com with a 5-star rating. It reveals a proactive approach to navigating the complex maze of senior housing options. It will help you understand the costs and consequences of planning ahead or waiting too long. Learn firsthand tips from someone who is currently advocating for two aging parents.
Among the thousands of seniors she and her teams have assisted in finding the right senior living community, the most difficult case has been helping her own parent. Masson spent two years exploring senior housing options with her mother before finding the ideal Continuing Care Retirement Community for her. After eight years in this independent living setting, she helped her mother transition into an assisted living community. Seven years later, even as a senior housing expert, Masson struggled with the decision to move her mother into a skilled nursing community.
More related articles by Diane can be found at Tips2Seniors.comor like Tips 2 Seniors on Facebook.
Finding an affordable memory care or assisted living community can be a daunting task. Even this senior housing guru had to plan strategic questions before touring four memory care communities for my mother-in-law. See the questions HERE.
My husband and I flew 1000 miles to Seattle. We only had two days to tour memory care communities in the Seattle area. This required researching the Internet, calling former senior housing colleagues for recommendations and scheduling tours before we left. The timing was tricky because our limited time included visiting with my husband’s mom.
My husband created a spreadsheet to compare costs between these four memory care communities. The pricing is so complex that even someone working in the senior living field (like me) had trouble figuring out the monthly cost for my mother-in-law.
Care points, care levels or all inclusive costs?
Most assisted living and memory care communities seem to have a charge for room and board, then additional costs for care. Pricing can be very gray and feels like an illusion of smoke and mirrors. Care costs can be priced on a point system or a level system.
My mother-in-law, Amy, was assessed at 223 points at her current memory care community. Care costs varied dramaticly. Some of our tour guides were actually guessing what level of care or point total she might be, before a nurse could assess her. This is what makes pricing difficult to compare. The community recommends that you to move her in and then they will figure out the monthly price. Sigh…
Here were the room and board costs of four memory care communities in the Seattle area (these prices do not reflect care costs):
Community A Private Room: $2,330
Community B Private Room: $5,095
Community C Private Room: $4,050
Community D Private Room: $4,137
Room and board costs for a shared room in memory care are less:
Community A Shared Room: $1,050
Community B Shared Room: $4,895
Community C Shared Room: $2,850
Community D Shared Room: $3,837
So let’s try to figure out care costs:
Community A has four care levels: Amy’s current care level two (estimate) – $3,860
Community B has five care levels: Amy’s current care level three (estimate) – $2,595
Community C uses care points: Daily charge .54 a point x 223 = $3,613
Community D uses care points: Daily charge .73 a point x 223 = $4,884
So the price is so high, we decide to consider a shared room. So let’s add the shared room with the care costs to see what Amy would be charged each month:
Community A – Amy’s monthly total: $4,910
Community B – Amy’s monthly total: $7,490
Community C – Amy’s monthly total: $6,463
Community D – Amy’s monthly total: $8,721
Each place said it would reassess Amy in two weeks. They implied the price would bump down, but it might bump up in price. Right?!!? So that led us to ask what could be the maximum cost for Amy’s care in a shared room?
Community A – Amy’s maximum cost: $6,820
Community B – Amy’s maximum cost: $9,045
Community C – Amy’s maximum cost: $9,006
Community D – Amy’s maximum cost: $12,159
Community D was priced the highest, but it also had the highest staff ratio and was a drop-dead gorgeous new building. We had to eliminate it due to Amy’s finances. Community A was priced the lowest and had a wait list. It was cheaper, but gross and we saw a low staff ratio. So that left us Community B or C. Community B had a care level pricing and was brand new. Community C was based on care points and was a dated older community. This is where our spreadsheet came in handy.
The bottom line for the family: Amy’s care was more important than a new community that looked great walking in the lobby. We felt Community C had outstanding personnel! Every single person greeted us on our tour. They painted the picture of Amy’s reality, but explained how they would provide the best care in a homey environment. We felt they were experienced enough to correct Amy’s medications that had been over prescribed at the hospital (You can read about drugging and diapering seniors HERE.).
So Community C will initially cost the family around $6,000 a month, plus the one time community fee. They assessed Amy the same day we toured (another example of excellent service) and determined that 223 points was too high. Her new assessment is less than 200 points.
One-Time Community Fee
Assisted living and memory care communities typically have a community fee (one time) when someone moves in. Here were the memory care community fees for the four places we toured:
Community A: $2,500
Community B: $4,895
Community C: $6,500
Community D: $10,433
It’s complicated to compare senor-housing options; I hope this information can help you. Some other assisted living and memory care communities are all inclusive and only charge extra for incontinence care. Do your own research. Cheaper does not always mean better. Look beyond the superficial newness to the quality of the nursing and caregiver staff. Don’t forget to ask about turnover of staff. Community C has two key staff that have worked over 10 years for the company.
What have you encountered?
I haven’t even discussed who can afford these expensive prices? What about poverty level seniors? What happens when a senior runs out of money? Why is Medicaid almost impossible to find at licensed assisted living communities? These questions are addressed in my new book, “Your Senior Housing Options.” It is available on Amazon.com with a 5-star rating.
A senior can easily become overly dependent on a caregiver. A helpless 92-year-old senior woman, who is recovering from a surgery, can suddenly become isolated in her own home and becomes reliant on her new around-the-clock caregiver.
